Capture the Clarity

As i look back on past blogs, poems, songs… I often feel as if I’m reading it for the first time. Especially when it comes to reflective notes on things I’ve learned through experience. Why are the lessons so much clearer right after I’ve learned it? But seem to fade away seemingly over time.

It reminds me of how we feel after a good vacation, how that relaxation fades over time once we return to the reality of our everyday routine. A refresher is always welcome, and what better refresher than a note to self. Unless it’s something as deep rooted as my impatience for lateness, which comes from constantly being stood up by my closest friends, as a teenager. Those lessons are instinctual and ingrained in me at this point: I do not wait for people more than 10minutes without being completely pissed. I digress…The more recent lessons, those dealing with spirituality, perspective and what I know about myself… Those things must be written down for a refresher course in the near future.

I don’t write for money. It’s not my job. I don’t even think I’m good at it (in the formal sense). However, I see the therapeutic benefits of it. When I am called to write, it feels good. It’s not something I can force, rush or even predict.

Looking back at my blogs, I think, “wow that’s great advice”. This reaction is not from a place of ego. I just know ME best.

Who better to give me advice, than me?

I’ve been reading books about creative magic, the power of money, 7 ways to be “successful”… I find most of these books to be full of crap. These authors don’t know me. How do they know my definition of success, creativity, or about my personal relationships? Sure, there are probably studies out there that support these authors’ findings. However…I’m not interested in living out someone else’s perfect life.

I don’t even know what my perfect life looks like yet. What I do know, is when I start comparing myself to other people, I’m in trouble. Even when I start comparing myself to where I want (or expect) to be, my future self… It doesn’t feel good. Advice about imagining you are the person you want to be, act as if you’ve already achieved all those things… that’s dangerous advice. It can lead to comparison and a feeling that I’m not good enough RIGHT NOW, until I achieve those external things or get to that magic place. We should be happy with who we are right now, today, this moment. Regardless of external achievements, money, other people’s expectations, and all those other things that don’t mean a thing in the grand scheme of it all.

Being in the moment is easier said than done, but what better way to capture a moment of clarity than to write it down?

Here goes, my moment of clarity…It’s okay to NOT stay on schedule (especially if that schedule is self-imposed). One thing does not have to happen before you can move on to the next. In fact, projects and stages of life tend to flow into one another and working on one thing can even help you get the knowledge or motivation to complete another. If your creativity wants to bounce you from one project to the next, don’t fight it! Go with the flow. Ride the wave. Insert more cliches here.

You are only responsible to yourself. You don’t need permission to take a break from something. Even if you have people asking about the progress… No one really cares or even remembers what you’re doing. You’re not letting anyone else down, and you’re not letting yourSELF down. The advice you heard about telling everyone what you’re doing before you do it, for accountability… that’s nonsense. It’s a waste of time to feel guilty, giving excuses to others or asking permission to take a break from something that you’re doing for you.

The measure of success is not the completion, it’s the trying (and the lesson). Do what you are passionate about in the moment. Embrace what your heart wants to play with. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t impose deadlines on creative ventures.

Just BE.

Truly, from the heart…

Laura Meoli-Ferrigon